June 4, 2008 I apologize. It has been awhile since the last update…   No I have not joined a convent!
Our spiritual group annual retreat went well.  We had it the third weekend of May.  Even though it went well, we had a few inputs which I hope our next year retreat will be even better.  We pray.  I will update it with photos in a week or so. God’s willing!

I just took a long trip last weekend to visit my mother and helped her with her garden.  I was able to stop and helped my Russian teacher with his yard work as well.  Despite the weather forecast which predicted two rainy days, we had no rain until all our cleaning and planting were finished.  Thank you Lord.  So my weekend trip was quite productive.  What I most appreciated was the fact that I was able to spend some good and quality time with my mother, my youngest brother and his daughter.  My mother and my niece joined me for mass on Saturday and Sunday.  I am grateful to God for that.  As I continue to pray for their conversion to seek and love God more personally and readily, I am saddened to witness the changes in parish churches, for instance, one of two I attended last weekend.  From the outside it was very Catholic bearing the name of my beloved patron saint, St. Clare of Assisi.  When I entered the church, it was more to me like a party hall if it were not for the altar and the two banners having a loaf of bread and a cup of wine images on them.   The music too was very modern and there were no kneelers, and neither the altar server boy and girls wore their white long rope...  The pastor changed something during celebrating mass which I did not appreciate it very much.  And as soon as mass was over, the building was filled with noise of adults chatting, the children screaming, etc….  I can’t judge anyone but I just feel sad.  What bothered me most is the fact that my niece shared with me she was never taught about the saints when she was taking religious ed.  Now I know why young children have to look up to movie stars as their role models, some of whom either lead them astray by the way of the world or disappoint them greatly because of the scandal they eventually are lured into.  L  I can’t do much but pray for the future of the Church as much as of America.  I hope and pray that with God’s inspiration and help, once I am officially a mentor of a child, (I am applying to be a mentor through Catholic Charity in our Diocese) I can help at least a child to be her best the way she is meant and made to be by her creator.  Amen.

This weekend, Saturday and Sunday from 10a.m. to 5 p.m. our county will have an Open Studio Tour participating by local artists (since I will be at mass for about one hour each day, someone else will be there for me from 3:45pm-4:45pm Sat and 9:45am-11am Sunday.)  If you are in Livingston County, we welcome you to our studios which locate throughout the county. Once you are in an artist’ studio, you will get to see the artist at work; you will talk to him/her and purchase what are available at their studio and can even place an art commission, etc.

I hope to see you then.  For information concerning the event, you can email me or go to www.gvcaonline.org , the Genesee Valley Council on the Arts web site for more details.  Salome A. Farraro, the Associate Director can be reached at 585.243.6785 - fax: 585.243.6787.

April 26, 2008 “In the Renunciation chapter, Fr. Merton mentioned that love of poverty and love of the poor make saints (p251).  He went on to say one: “needs to be able to identify himself honestly and sincerely with the poor, to be able to look at life through their eyes… to do many jobs he would rather not do, suffer many inconveniences with patience…” The reading reassured me of my present experience.  I was inspired to be involved with a local group trying to fight poverty.  Through my contact with a social worker who presented to the group the need for mentoring trouble and poor children.  As I am looking forward to this unique experience, I have opportunities to perceive what Fr. Merton called poverty: facing the many inconveniences, discomfort and doing what I do not prefer to do.  As much as I vowed to love and to follow the poor Christ until death and as much as the Beatitudes echo in my heart, it is not easy when I have to experience poverty up close and personal.   However, in faith I am grateful to God for the experience which will be good for my soul as it learns, in humility how to love Christ and his Church.

Facing the present and immediate world food crisis and the rising in oil/gas price besides war and other problems in life, how much faith does one have to stay focused on being a good Christian and on meditating on the perfect and pure love where the soul needs to raise above all that can weigh it down?  When I first read the chapter on Pure Love, I almost dared to say that my soul got a glimpse of what it is to rest “in a deep, luminous and absorbing experience of love” that I could exclaim with the Apostles: “Lord, it is good for us to be here (on Mt. Tabor.) (p276)  But then like the Apostles, I too had to descend the mountain and go back to the world where I am trapped by sins.  I wonder how difficult it is for many out there who do not have the support I have.  As a human, I feel very humble as I understand the feelings and the things many people are trying to do to save themselves from the exploitation, egocentricity and greediness of the rich and the powerful, not realizing they may unintentionally turn into those whom they despise.  I have learned the sad truth that for those of us who are in need, it is only natural that we do not have time to think of others, but ourselves and our own interest.  And only those who are touched and graced by God’s transcendent love could unconditionally and generously go on to renounce his/her own well being and interest for the love if Christ and his Church.  These are saints of God... “  (taken from Minh’s April 08 spiritual group reflection on News Seeds of Contemplation, chapter 38 & 39)

April 11, 2008 The day I was baptized…!
Ten years ago this night, I was baptized, confirmed and received my first Holy Communion.  I cried so hard during the Easter Vigils of 1998.  Seven years of waiting was a long time.   Praise the Lord for my new life, my being born again in the Spirit.  At mass this morning, the Holy Spirit shared the grace with me.  I felt so blessed and joyful, the way I used to feel ten years ago being a brand new born Catholic.   

The highlight of my 10th year anniversary was receiving a special blessing from Rev. Father who knows my soul best and knows the joy of its journey to seek God who has been with it lovingly and faithfully since it was just in his thought! J Inspired by the Holy Spirit, Rev. Father’s blessing was longer and more intense as usual (he made the comment).  I told him the Spirit motivated him to do so because I am a tough soul who needs all the blessings she I can get.   

Ten years is a long time, but it did not seem so.  I waited 7 years since I was introduced to Catholicism to say yes to God and then 10 years, to consecrate myself perpetually and totally to him.   

I thank you so much for all who have promised to pray and are praying for me.  May the Lord always grant me the grace to embrace all creations for when a soul tries to love God, she learns to love everything that is created by him and for him. I pray the same for you.   Amen.  

April 2, 2008 A blessed Easter joy to you and yours!
Easter seemed to be more personal and intense this year. I think it should be for all of us because we feel it more deeply as we get older in faith. Life challenges sure help us understand and accept the cross better as we walk deeper into God's mystery. For me, I think the main reason is because of who I have vowed to be and how I have promised to live my life searching for God: "Dearest Lord, now I follow you; I reverend you and I love you. I seek your presence in all that I do and wherever I may be. Please fulfill my hope and show me the greatest of your mercy..."

We made it to the Abbey in two hours on our Good Friday walk. It was really good for our soul. We were glad we did it. Thank you for your prayer. It was windy and colder than we thought. The sunshine helped but walking for a long time in the open fields against some strong wind now and then really made it the way of the cross! Though, God's grace made it bearable. I did not notice the discomforts as much until later when my walking companion told me he was cold the WHOLE WAY! J The Good Friday service was tense. I think the walk prepared my emotion and helped me stay focused and tougher. Besides, I think I ran out of tears after Holy Thursday. Fr. John always seems to know how to get my tears going especially when listening to his Holy Thursday homily. The vicious crown of thorns displayed in church which some passer by gave him a few years ago did not help heal my open wounds of love for the suffering Lord either...

Easter Vigils mass was beautiful and so was Easter morning mass. Holy Abbots, John and John Eudes are worthy of monks to celebrate reverently holy masses on such special days ... Easter dinner with family and friends was too wonderful and festive. It was nice to spend time and visit with them. I am grateful to the Lord for all the graces and blessings he has given us, YES, ALL THAT HE HAS GIVEN ME! YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING O LORD!

I must say the Lord has given me a very special grace to bring forth these icons from the depth of my soul. Many thanks to the icon teacher for his special gift and graciously and generously passing down the Tradition. I thank to Rev. Father for his constant support and encouragement to make sure I follow through with this grace despite the many trials I have encountered. I am so very grateful to you dear Lord.

Dear God's angels, please pray for us.
Here we are!!!

Now that I have been working so hard on the icons of these angels, I finally have some prints and cards available for sale. Since the icons have not yet officially blessed, I asked Abba John Eudes and he graciously blessed the 50 some prints I have prepared. You can purchase them at the Abbey in person or through New Helfta by mail. Send your order to minhkh@rochester.rr.com . Beautiful note cards are also available. The matted 9"x12" prints are $30 each. Packages of 8 note cards are $10 each. A standard Shipping and Handling Fee for each total order is $8. Thank you for your interest. These special sales will enable me to continue with the future lessons. God's willing.

March 20, 2008 Everything I celebrate this year has become more personal to me after taking my perpetual vow of virginity for the love of Christ until death.

As we celebrated mass today on this Holy Thursday, having been reflecting on the readings of the Passion Sunday and listening to the readings today, I realized that the Jesus whom we hold tight and dear to our hearts these days is indeed the one my soul long desires to love. He is all of the heavenly Father's goodness, mercy and perfection for he is love; and he is everything; he is the greatest of all the greatness which I have learned to embrace since I was a little girl and infinite times more.

Today we celebrated the Last Supper where the Eucharist was instituted and so was the Holy Order of Priests. I am praying especially for priests, for more priestly vocation. I am praying for the clergies whom I have encountered and those who have had tremendous influences on me and in my life of faith, especially Rev. Father John Eudes Bamberger, my spiritual father and teacher who has been teaching me patiently, diligently and whole-heartedly who the poor Christ is whom my heart belongs.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I pray that the dear Lord will see to it that I keep my annual Good Friday walk to the Abbey from Geneseo (a bit more than 4 mile long). It is going to be nice and sunny despite of the fact that it will be in the mid 30's J. The fields will be hardened then, so my boots will not be filled with mud as I took a test walk last Sunday. There will be a college student joining me on the walk this year. As much as I enjoy walking alone with the Lord, walking with others has its own grace as well and I thank the Lord to send this friend along. The more who love and devote to him, the better! We will do the Stations of the Cross two-thirds of the way and then the rosary until we get to the Abbey.

Please know that I will carry you all in my prayer intentions as I walk this walk. God knows who you are. Just tell him that I accept your asking me to pray for you then he will see to it that it is done. Please say a prayer for us. Thank you.

Have a Blessed Triduum! And I will see you at the empty tomb!

March 15, 2008 Have a blessed Holy Week!!!

Without God, men can accomplish nothing!!!  He is the source of all things and his love rules and governs the universe which continues to exist, grow and is sustained by unending graces. 

I recall the time when I realized there is a God who loves me unconditionally and is the author of the book of my life.  I also recall the time when I was prepared to be baptized and entered the Church (it will be exactly 10 years ago by April 11).  His abundance graces carried me through all these months like a little spoiled baby who got all the attention from her loving mother.  I experienced many things that are holy and perfect without any of my effort to be righteous.  I was so happy and joyful and also felt like an angel for I have not yet seen the real me J whom the gracious Lord has protected so lovingly.  Then gradually, my true self emerged.  Due to pride, I began to try to control things which overzealousness did not help.  I made mistakes, but did not want to expose them so they became mine.   For their own sake, I hung on tight to rules and laws which helped me determine how much I could achieve on my own as a Christian.   I looked around to criticize the faults of others while I was ignorant of my own.  The Lord again spared me by sending a good teacher who also introduced me to St. Gertrude who advised me not to keep anything that is not mine.

As sad as it sounds, humbly I began to learn how to accept who I am.  I began to identify myself as a human and try to become one before I can hope to be a saint as Fr. Merton pointed out. (P. 256).  The stretch is long.  I may never make it while I am on earth, but I have hope for the eternal life with God, no matter what it takes because God is who he is.  One step at the time I strive to do my best.  For now, what I would like to focus on, God's willing, is to study because: "... one sometimes finds in contemplatives a kind of pride in being unlearned.... We must not separate intellectual study of divinely revealed truth and contemplative experience of that truth as if they could never have anything to do with one another...  the two belong together, just as body and soul belong together... " (P.254, 255)

I need to learn to empty myself to prepare room for what Christ emptied himself for me on the cross.  As I try to listen and cooperate with God's grace, I know I need to stay calm and let God show me contemplation as Fr. Merton pointed out.  I am open to be helpful by sharing what I have experienced in faith with others.  Though, I will never know for certain whether God wills it for me to do so.  However, as I am advised that if I do it in good faith and I am inspired by love, I will always please God who is love for he cannot deny himself.  And even if I should not have done so, when I am home with the Lord, he will teach me how to grow and knows his will better through experience.

Speak and teach us Lord for your servants are listening.  With the ear of our hearts, teach us how to identify with our human nature so through humility sustained by your grace and loving mercy, we may learn how to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect.  Amen.
(from my March reflection for our spiritual group)

March 4, 2008 Very soon, hopefully before Easter, I will try to make time to share some pictures of the new icons which I have written and am working on. It is sure a special grace the Lord has given me at this point of my life. I was asked whether these original icons are for sale. Well, at the moment I do not have any available. Hopefully by the first weekend of June when New Helfta studio is open to the public for the Genesee Valley Studio Tour. It is on Saturday and Sunday, June 7 and 8 from 10am-5pm. For more information concern this event, please visit Genesee Valley Council on the Arts .

At the meantime, I work on commission only. These Eastern Russian Orthodox Traditional icons are much smaller than what I have done...

"It is God's transcendent love revealed in his Son who redeemed us and continued to take away our sin, teaches us how to love truly and transcendently. As I reflected on New Seeds of Contemplation chapters, what really matters is how we learn to love God for who he is. As St. Bernard wrote in his On Loving God: "For when God loves, he desires nothing else than to be loved, and sees to it that he loves for no other reason than that he might be loved." Therefore, it is false humility when we focus too much on our shortcoming and weaknesses. True humility, I was taught is to focus on God's love and try to learn how to love him in return even though it will never be of equal value. I will always have sins, if I worry so much about my sins, I will never have time to focus on God.

In the Gospel reading, Jesus clearly encouraged us to have faith in God who can help us overcome any temptation, and even if we fall due to our human weaknesses, we will learn how to grow stronger in our love and our trust in his Father. Christ, the second Adam has been given to us. God allows us to fall short in life, not to punish us, but to help us experience humility. Only when we realized how small and wretched we are, we appreciate greatly who God is to us. On Ash Wednesday, Fr. Justin Sheehan gave the most wonderful Ash Wednesday homily I have never heard (either that or the ear of my heart listens better as I grow in spirit) . He wrote:

"This is not a day of long faces, but an acceptable time, a day of salvation, the first of a 40-days' journey toward the triumphant Passover. Ash Wednesday is actually the first day of the Easter cycle, and the discipline of Lent, which we begin today, forms the first part of the Church's annual celebration of the death and resurrection of Christ our Savior...

... Adam broke the fast by eating the forbidden fruit. Christ began his personal journey to Easter by keeping a 40-day fast. Adam sinned and was doomed to die; Christ overcame temptation and conquered death in his human body. Let us then receive these ashes as the mark of a Christian, so that when we return to dust, we may hear Christ say, "Awake, o sleeper, rise from the dead, and I will give you light".

As poor banished children of Adam, we were domed to die, but as Christ's followers, we live with him who called us: "Awake, o sleeper, rise from the dead, and I will give you light".

I dare to think that God did not mind to allow Adam to commit fault, for through it we gained Christ who teaches us how to love and return to the Father with our whole being, through the noble and intimate way of the cross.

Dearest Lord, is that why you put the forbidden Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Is it through your transcendent love which gave us our free will and through your only Begotten Son's sacrifice, we may learn who you are and how to seek and find you who is LOVE?"

February 4, 2008 I thank you all for your kind messages of congratulations, promise of prayers and encouragement. I am grateful, and the Lord is keeping me humble for I know in my heart how unworthy I am of the calling.  Like the Blessed Mother, the Handmaid of the Lord, I accept the invitation to follow him and live the life depending on his loving mercy as he promised to those who follow him. Even though the dear Lord gives me so many graces to struggle to live it, living the life is not so easy. However, he gives me peace in the heart. My poor confessor must get so tired of hearing me making the same mistakes and committing the same sins often enough, not to mention the new ones as I grow in spirit and in the awareness of my short comings. Please remember me in prayer as I commend you to God. Thank you.

As some of you know, I am writing (painting) icons of the angels these days. After finishing St. Michael and the Guardian Angel, I am close to finishing Sts. Gabriel and Raphael. Angel Uriel is next in line. (Micheal: He who is like God; Gabriel: God is my strength; Raphael: Healer of God; Uriel: God is my light)  
As I am working on the icons, I am asking all the angels these days to deliver our prayer to God, especially St. Raphael.

Also there are some difficult and hard parts in writing icons which I experience some discomfort.  Often, I got spoiled and complained about it.  Lately, I have the grace to see that I could offer it up for those we pray for and those who are suffering, which I am grateful.  So your name and your intention are heard and known to the angels, Saints, the Blessed Mother and the Lord as well as all the holy men and women I depict.

Have a blessed the fruitful Lenten Season

December 9, 2007 "Lord, every nation on earth will adore you" is our Responsorial psalm for today, the second Sunday of Advent.
I am awakening to the realization that prophet Jeremiah's prophesy is still to be fulfilled. We live in the midst of it, even though the shoot of Jessie has blossomed; the star of Jacob has risen, and the Virgin has brought forth a Savior. Christ came as a man; He came again in spirit and is dwelling among us. We are waiting for his third coming when he will be the eternal judge of the world.

May he, the Savior and the Praise of all his saints, come anew in your heart give you great peace and joy and let you know that your prayer, kindness and good deeds in helping others do make a big difference in the plan of his salvation of all mankind. Amen.

May we receive the grace to open our heart to God's invitation so that we can be transformed and ready when he comes again. Amen.

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

October 26, 2007 update on oUR FIRST Annual GROUP retreat (photos). While you are there, do visit our group News page and its Home page.

September 3, 2007 Sorry, it has been awhile since I last updated the news. Besides keeping up with the many responsibilities and chores that this life demands, I have gone back to take more Russian icon writing classes. Thank you all for your prayer and support. Many thanks to a special friend and benefactor who has helped pay for these classes. The Lord gives me this special grace and through her generosity, I have humbly learned how to accept his gift with much gratitude and appreciation.

I just got back from one-week-babysitting my two adorable nephews whose family lives in Pennsylvania. I also spent some time with my siblings and two other lovable grown up nephews. Even though I enjoyed and experienced God's special blessings in their life, I am happy to get back to my simple way of life. The Lord really brought me home once again, with an awaken and refresh spirit as to remind me of what an unique calling and vocation he has given me.

As our spiritual group members are going their own ways with new opportunities with fresh challenges, I go on to live my vocation with faith and hope in God's loving mercy. Besides learning how to write an icon according to the Eastern Tradition, I am challenged to pursue and finish an icon commission of Dorothy Day. Please say a prayer for me. Thank you and have a blessed fall!

July 8, 2007 We had a few hot days back in June, but lately we are so grateful with the pleasant weather we are having. It has been in the upper 70s. Praise the Lord for the special treat, and we remember to pray for those who are experiencing the heat in the Midwest. The Lord also sent us plenty of rain. Water is a sign of blessing! I love the rain, not to mention it does a lot for nature, the trees, the fields, the weeds and the animals, too. Here are some pictures of my front yard (taken the morning after the steady rain the day before, ) of the garden, and especially of the Kentucky bean vines reaching for the sky J

I am grateful to God for keeping me quite busy these last few months; However, I am trying to find a balance so I do not get burn out being too active, even though charity often gets a hold of me. It is not so easy, but who among us does not struggle with it? It is a sign that we are alive and responding to God's calling.

My classes of learning how to write icons according to the Russian Tradition have come to a halt. A few factors helped me come to the decision. It sounds sad; However, I am at peace knowing that the dear Lord seems to want me to take it seriously enough to work on what I have learned before I should go on with it...

Praising God for his miraculous and holy gift to the human race. A great-granddaughter shared this: "Recently I was confirmed that I carry holy gene. My great-grandmother's body was exhumed after almost 30 years and it was incorruptible!!! I was told that is God's unique way of showing us that she is a saint. If you were I what would you do and think differently now that you are consciously aware of who you are related to your saintly ancestor?"

June 15, 2007 HAPPY FEAST OF THE LORD'S SACRED HEART!

May He keep you close to his precious heart and may his love for you miraculously heal all your infirmities in body, spirit and soul according to his will so you can live to love and serve him faithfully in union with the whole Universal Church for the salvation of all mankind. Amen.

' "Even though I had no time for myself today, I was very aware of the Lord's presence and my desire to please him and be at his Sacred Heart.  The many antiphons we had sung in the last two days expressed how he was lonely in suffering while giving everything to us unconditionally.  His heart thirsts for our love in return: "For when God loves, he desires nothing else than to be loved, seeing that he loves for no other reason than that he might be loved." (Sermon on the Canticle, 83.4, trans. Rev. Father John Eudes.) - St Bernard wrote.

I felt deep in my heart that the Lord is pleased because I did all of these in his love and I too desire to love and serve Him who so loves us to give us his Sacred Heart. When a friend asked me how my day went, after I told her I was quite busy doing charity in the honor of the Sacred Heart, she told me she experienced the opposite.  She felt wonderful and loved because she could spend all day in peace and felt his loving presence so strongly being alone in prayer.  I could see how different we are.  However, I feel that: to feel being loved and to experience love are great, but they should not stop there.  We have to respond to his love by loving him in return.  How? Besides being united with him in spirit and in prayer, and desire to do his will, we have to deny ourselves for the sake of love as you, teacher, have taught me.  We have to allow his Sacred Heart to be accessible, present and to shine before all by our selfless acts of love if there are opportunities to do so.  Experience love is great but unless we respond to it and love him in return, even not with equal measure, we can't really comprehend true love and love fully. You often said in your homilies that when we love someone, we always try to find things to do to please the beloved in a selfless and wholehearted way... 

So I told the friend: " Enjoy the experience you have while you can at this stage because once you are more mature and grow in spirit, you love God in a more selfless way.  For instance, on his special feasts, you will desire to do things to please him because you love him instead of asking for the grace to feel how much you are loved by him."

We praise the Lord for a very grace-filled and successful first spiritual group three-day retreat last weekend as a small community of sisters at New Helfta with one heart and mind. I will have the update with some photos as soon. Many thanks for your prayer and support. All for his love and his glory!

April 8, 2007

CHRIST HAS RISEN!!!
Allelua Allelua Allelua!!!

May his resurrection be a solemn reminder of our Christian faith,
joy, hope and especially love.
May the Father's love for the Risen Lord and for us
be our constant source of strength and hope as we go on our journey
seeking and loving Him and all his creation.
Amen.